I am stuck living in the same house as my ex because I cant afford to move out

July 18, 2024

DEAR DEIDRE: I AM stuck living in the same house as my ex despite us being separated.

I can’t afford to move out.

We have three children together but repeated problems in our relationship brought me to end it.

I spent months thinking it over before coming to this decision. It was the hardest thing I have ever done.

It is tense at home because I am fed up with my ex telling me I need her permission to do anything in the house.

No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.

When she is angry she stomps about, slamming doors and hurling insults at me – all in front of our children.

They are being affected by this horrible atmosphere.

My partner won’t help around the house or with the children. She just pleases herself and the children have picked up on that.

I am 44 and my ex is 42. We have been together for 15 years.

DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as though your ex is spilling her stress all over you but her behaviour is unacceptable.

It is so damaging for your children to witness her outbursts.

My support pack When Parents Fall Out explains how children are affected when there is tension in the home. Try to sit down together to read it.

If possible, organise the house so you have an area that is yours alone, to limit contact and tension.

And get in touch with Shelter, which offers free housing advice (shelter.org.uk, 0808 800 4444).

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